Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize