Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
