i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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