Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
