And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
