Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
