please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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