Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
