dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
