the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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