Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
