in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
