i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
