He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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