Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
