i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
