sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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