And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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