I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
