ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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