I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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