I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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