there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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