I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it's like heaven, but drunker
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
