who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
