There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
