there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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