You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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