New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
