what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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