Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
