I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
