I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
