I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
