when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize