Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
