You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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