so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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