if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
