i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize