What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
4 words: hood of his car
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
