I heard we made out
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize