I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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