whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I didn't notice because vodka
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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