he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
