What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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