Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize