a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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