I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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