Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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