so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
