So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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