Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
