i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
