Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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