if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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