I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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