its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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