I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
