Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
