This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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