She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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