You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
