oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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